I NEED TO GET OUT AND TORTURE MYSELF UNTIL I CRY (or come close to that at least).

You know in sec one, training was like NS (according to Christine). Hmm I can't say that considering I don't know how NS is like. But it was like almost every single training, before we start I'd be thinking I can't do this. DIE. DIE. DOOMTIME. even if I didn't say it out loud.

But now I feel kinda weird. Like I need to be tortured. Like I WANT TO DIE TRAINING. And on the gray tombstone they'd engrave:
Here Lies Jasmine. Who died when her lungs burst while she was skipping/running. Rest In Peace.

I sound like a sadist. Sorry.

I think I'm just restless. Really restless. And feeling pathetic about not running for SOOOO long.

And I think IHG Bronze is now just some weird fantasy.